sarabear (sarabear) wrote,

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ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow





i could write a song about my last couple of days.. =P this entry will be short because i can barely lift my left arm up to the keyboard. stupid hickman line.

my surgery went ok, i suppose... when the surgeon finally came in to meet me, i explained to him where i wanted the hickman to exit my chest. i pointed at the big ass scar in between my boobs, and he just looked at me as if i were crazy. "i never put my lines there. ever. i've been doing this for 12 years and i'm *NEVER* done anything like that"

such a wonderful thing to tell the patient right before they start operating. i was already getting drugs from the anesthesiologst (or however you spell it ), so i freaked out, starting crying, and begged for my parents to come back in the room. my parents brought my doctor with them, and my doctor made the surgeon tell me that he could do it. and he did. but the fucker gave me stiches at the entrance site when he *could've* used steri-strips. so, i think it was his personal way of getting back at me for telling him how i wanted him to do his job. asshole. it's my body. and what girl wants a big gaping hole on the top of her boob? no make-up can cover that up. people would think i had warts every time i wore a low cut shirt.

but, that's over with.

the rest of tuesday evening i don't remember because i was taking perkisets ever 4 hours, and i passed out around 8.


onto the radiation...


i basically have to stand straight up in this plexiglass block for 15 minutes on each side while they zap a beam of light at me. it wasn't fun yesterday because i was dehydrated and i hadn't eaten anything, so i was puking the day away. the doctors forced me to get an IV bag of saline, and today went much better. i'm just so glad that it'll all be over tomorrow.

waking up at 6am sucks my balls. =P

i might not be updating for awhile cause on saturday i'm going to be admitted into the hospital. i'll get nasty ass chemo for 3 days, and then tuesday the 13th i'll get my stem cells *hopehopehope*

but i'll email everyone and let them know when they can come visit me.

sleepy time for me now... my lorezapam's kicking in.

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everything will be ok sarabear...i promise.

you are going to feel sooo much better as soon as this is over! and don't forget! were chillin' in a limo drinking champane and watching trent on our way to rocky in a few months ;)))

i love you sarabear.

let me know when i can come see you ;)
let me know when you're feeling up to it, and you have to NOT BE SICK. =) then i'll email you all the info you need ;)
chuckiebear is ready whenever you are ;)
I have been keeping you in my thoughts.
thank you so much!!!!!!!! i love that picture!!! =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)
Do you know how buff I think you are for getting all that onto the page between technicolour yawns? I admire your tenacity, with this & with that surgeon. ...Maybe he hadta use stitches anyway, or maybe--just like with the hickman line placement--he's stodgy but probably not malevolent. Jerk though he may be--and never having had any cleavage to concern himself with--at the end of the day, I think he wants to do his job right. ...Well... you don't need reply to this, 'cause I know that lifting the arms business sucks. I hope they have Comedy Central in the hospital. Actually, if they have Sci-Fi channel, they'll show Mystery Science Theatre 3000 at 9am-11am Saturday morning, and it's pretty darn funny.

you'd be surprised the tolerance that i'm building up to hospital drugs. i'll be able to drink everyone under the table by the time i'm through!

alas, i do not get my beloved comedy central, or my mtv for jackass. *sniff* =( =( but, i suppose that's what my brother and the vcr is for at home.

i can have visitors anytime now, so if you're not sick, email me and i'll send you all of my room info! =) *hugs*
.. I would like to meet this so called "doctor". Then when he is getting the stitches for the gaping head wound that the group of huge musclebound males (that I hire) inflict on him, he could advice them on how to properly sew his so called skull together. Why is it so many doctor are pricks. And do not get me started on Nurses...
Just think about slapping some ho's and watching late night infomercials at 4:00 in the morning. I think that peple in hospitals should have their very own TV station, hosted by all their friends. I would get the much coveted 3:00 to 6:00 am spot. I would show cartoons (and not thouse weak ass Scooby Doo shit), hardcorn porn, spice girls arguments backstage, live concerts, Christopher Walken films, more porn, and anything else that your heart would desire (but since you have porn, you pretty much have everything in my book). Any ideas on what you would like.
And we start off every hour with a video of the doctor having his head shoved up his own ass by my assistents.
Just think about running him down with you own purple and pink pimpmobile as you guzzle 40's and slap them ho's
aaron!! i love you!!!!!! =)

i'm in the hospital, and i can have visitors!!!! if you are not sick, let me know, and i will send you the room info ;)
I wish I was not, but I still am trying to get over this fucking cold. Since I am stuborn I have not rested so it is taking its time. I does not help that i have a head with no hair, either.
Anyone gives you any shit just because they spent have their life becoming a so-called "doctor" can just kiss my ass. I want names. Just remember the names and we will do the rest.
Went to see Monster Inc yesterday. It was great. Went to see it with Kristen. Overall yesterday was a great day. Today I am going to go to Waking Life with my women and do that romantic thing that you see normal people do on their days off.
So give me the info and I will see you when this fucking cold clears up.