i've been feeling so crappy... i think today is the first day i've actually sat down at the computer and typed. woo hoo. while i was in the hospital i had mr. lappy (my laptop) with me, but it was so much easier to just click the mouse than actually move my arms and type. so, if anybody has sent me email and are waiting for a reply, i *will* write you back, i *will* i *will* i *will* later... =) =) =)
my right arm is really sore, so it's hard to type. i don't remember when i updated last, and i don't really go back and read my journal after i've posted, so i guess i'll just ramble or something.
my chemo went pretty well. i hate having tubes in my chest again, but i got them put in on the right side instead of my left side, so it's nice to be able to use my left arm again. but my whole chest and back and right arm are sore little fuckers. *sigh* anyway, i went into the hospital on the 14th, and my doctor was REALLY nice and let me go home on the 15th. he said that the chemo i was getting this time (since you can't use the same kind twice) was able to be given as out-patient treatment. woo hoo! that means, i got to stay at home, and only go into the hospital for about 5 hours every day while they hooked me up to the evil machine and pumped icky drugs into my poor, fragile little body. hehe. at least my chemo was a cool color this time. last time i had a red & clear chemo (they use 2 different kinds), and this time i had BLUE & clear. the blue was awesome! it was like liquid smurfs. it made my puke neon green and my pee bright blue. i know you all wanted to hear that. ;)
so! after 5 days of icky chemo, i layed on my ass at home feeling like shit for about a week and a half. carl and leenie came to visit me!!!!!! we talked about so many wonderful things... our conversations are so intelligent! teehee. bastards all want to make out with britney spears, but ONLY if she DOESN'T talk. she just has to lay there. =P~ sickos! all of them.
my best friend rob left to go back to pratt in new york, but before he left he brought by a present for me... a *personalized* cd signed by trent, to me!!!!!! *drrrrrooooooolllllllllllllll*
now, he just has to let me MEET him, and i'll quit bugging him. mwahaha.
and my friend amy's older gay brother jason has come by to visit me twice! woohoo. and he's made me watch horrible movies =P he made me watch 1) flash gordon 2) barbarella *and* 3 (which was partly my own fault cause i was joking about seeing it and then he actually brought it over...) leprechaun in the hood. so, i made him squirm and forced him to watch american psycho. =) =) =) such a good movie. and the book is good too! yep yep.
moving right along now... after a week and a half, all of my body's white blood cells were dead. that's what chemo does. and then, of course, my body has to freak out, which gives me high fevers. this is all normal, i was just hoping that it wouldn't happen this time because you have to go into the hospital if your fever goes above 101. so, it happened and into the hospital i went. *grr* i had a fever of 103 for 3 days. then it went down to 101, but the evil people there (not really, i'm just bitter) won't let you go home until you have a normal temperature for 24 hours. finally, after 5 days of being there, i got to go home. yay.
the worst part about being there, was that i was there on august 29... which marks 2 whole happy years for me and zane =) =) =) =) i've been sick so i didn't even get to go out and get him a present =( but my counts are comming up, and you better believe that my ass is going shopping. he got me SUCH nice stuff. he got me a hello kitty pencil and some rubber stamps just for fun, a really pretty picture frame with a picture of us in it from before i got sick (my red hair... *sniff*), and a BEAUTIFUL blue topaz necklace from something silver. I LOVE MY COWBOY. =) yay.
god... i'm forgetting a lot of stuff... hrm... my parents got me a whole bunch of cute stuffed animal puppy dogs, cause doggies are the best! and my brother got me some really cute hello kitty stationary and a hello kitty makeup bag. =D yay for hello kitty. oh! and zane's ninjutsu instructor and his girlfriend got me a hello kitty crystal light up castle!!!!! i've hung out with these people *twice* and they're getting me presents and sending me get well cards. i can't believe how nice people are. =)
well, i have a lot more to say, but i'm really fucking tired. i'm waiting for my white cell counts to come back up... so maybe possibly i'll be able to go out for a little bit this weekend, and definitely by the middle of next week. one day at a time... =) i miss everybody SO much, and i'm fucking PISSED that i had to miss the rocky show last weekend. bitch ass mother fucker. that's all i have to say about that.
bye bye for now =)